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A Dude’s Guide to the Clit – Part 1

Dude'sGuideToTheClit

Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time a girl friend of mine shared a horror story about a past hook up of theirs not knowing what they were doing when it came to her clit, then suffice it to say I’d have enough nickels to seriously hurt a person.  It’s sad that so many dudes take the “pick it and stick it” approach where they’re just shoving parts of themselves (fingers and penii – my plural word for penis) into a girl without any real regard for what the fuck is happening or what actually feels good for her.

Don’t be a jabroni, and don’t be your next partner’s next horror story – learn yourself a few things about the clitoris.  Here we go.

What is the clitoris?

The clitoris is a part of the female anatomy located at the top of the intersection of her labia minora.  See graph:

As an aside, if you want a truly terrifying internet experience – just throw the word “clitoris” into the ol’ Google – I consider myself to be a pretty mature dude and I found myself looking away from the computer screen several times.  But anyway…

Ready for some crazy ass facts?  The clitoris, which is smaller than a pencil eraser, contains 8,000 nerve endings.  For those of you keeping score at home, that is literally the most dense concentration of nerves in the entire human anatomy.  Are we beginning to see some importance here?  Good, you better.  Also, keep in mind that number of nerves next time you find yourself poking around in that area and want to rush in, guns blazing like some sort of whacked out Yosemitie Sam.  More on that in a second.

Many experts refer to the clitoris as the female penis.  Sure, it’s not exactly the same, but to give you an idea from an anatomical perspective of just how similar they are, check out this picture:

 

Crazy right?  Anatomically speaking the makeup of the “internal” and “external” clit is remarkably similar to the male penis.  One of the big differences however is that while the clit contains  8,000 nerve endings, the penis (depending on where/how you measure) has about 4,000 nerve endings in it.

Because this area is so incredibly sensitive, the female body has covered up the clitoris with a fold of skin known as the clitoral hood. Consider it body armor for the clit; without it women would walk around aroused all day as their pants and pretty much anything else rubbed up against their clit.  And before you say it, yea that might seem kinda cool to us dudes, but who wants to be horny all day?

Oh wait, that’s right, we’re guys…this might not be the best audience for talking about being horny all day… anyway, moving along.

So now that we have the “what” and “where” sorted out, let’s focus on the “how”, as in…

How do I work this bad boy?

Different girls will have different tolerances to sensitivity when it comes to their clits, but like I said before, this area tends to be incredibly sensitive, so err on the side of caution and make sure she is sufficiently aroused before you go rushing in.  Always start on the outside of her pants.  You can apply a little more pressure here, especially if you’re working through jeans, but definitely leave her wanting more versus going too hard.  After a few minutes of doing this, it is safe to go into her pants and rub her through her underwear.  You should be able to gauge her level of arousal by how she is responding to your touch and how wet she is.  Continue to use semi-broad strokes with a larger area of your hand, preferably your first 3 fingers.   Work in small circular patterns, and vary the speed slightly to keep her interested, but don’t go too crazy yet.  Providing continuous stimulation here is the name of the game.

Skin to skin contact:

When you do venture underneath her underwear and start skin-to-skin contact, keep everything the same as when you were on the outside of her underwear.  Just the added element of touching her directly should be enough of an incremental change here. Continue to use circular patterns with the same amount of pressure using about 3 fingers worth of contact area.  Don’t go directly for her clit yet.  A better idea is to first insert a finger inside of her to escalate her arousal even more.  You don’t need to go very deep, just past your first knuckle will do the trick.  The goal here is to provide stimulation and dial her temperature up a bit more while teasing her slightly and giving her a little less than she craves.

At this point she should be extremely aroused and very responsive to your touch.  Gently drag the finger that is inside her outwards and upwards towards the top of her labia minora.  This makes for a smooth transition to her clit, and you’ll bring some moisture up from inside of her which will help when you begin to directly stimulate her clit.  If you’ve done everything correctly and let her arousal build more and more over the interaction, it should be very easy to find her clit.  You’ll feel a hard little nub under a fold of skin – that’s what you want.  Once you have found it, gently rub it with the tip of your middle finger.  GENTLY I SAID, DAMN YOU!  If she wants you to rub harder or faster, she’ll tell you (or you should ask), either way don’t go too hard or fast or you could hurt her and totally take her out of the mood.  You’ve worked too hard for that, grasshopper. Make sure to keep your finger lubricated as this reduces the amount of friction your causing and makes it generally easier to control how much pressure/stimulation you are providing.  Either lick your finger or (bonus) put it back inside of her and bring some of her internal moisture out.

The pressure and speed of the stimulation you’re applying is going to vary a ton, and be greatly dependent on how turned on she is and how sensitive her clitoris is to touch.  Generally speaking, the more aroused a girl is, the more clitoral stimulation you can give her.  If you sense that you might be over stimulating her (make sure you are paying attention to her reactions the entire time) and the intensity might be a little too much for her, back off and return to some light penetration with your fingers to try and ramp her arousal up.  If you read her as really enjoying the experience and think she’s ready for the next step, then do the following..

In the hood:

Pulling the clitoral hood back and stimulating the clitoris directly is sort of the ultimate in clit stimulation intensity.  You’re removing the layer of skin that evolution has put there to protect her, so suffice it to say, you should go very lightly until she tells you otherwise.  Like… barely touching it… sort of light.  Make sure your finger is lubricated before you start.  You can use your other hand to gently pull the clitoral hood back, pulling it up towards her upper body.  From there you should use the finger tip of whatever finger you’re most comfortable with – just make sure you’re able to control how much pressure you apply.

Advanced One Handed Technique:

If you are laying beside your partner and using your second hand is awkward, you can pull the clitoral hood back and stimulate the exposed clit with one hand, however the technique is a little more involved.  Let’s assume you are right handed and your partner is on her back.  The one handed technique consists of using your thumb to pin the clitoral hood back while using your index and ring fingers to spread the labia apart.  Doing all three of these at the same time will give you clear access to the clit head with your middle finger.  It can be difficult to coordinate all of these movements and hold that position for an extended period of time, so you should only attempt it once you’ve built up a good amount of hand strength.  However, once you can maintain this position it frees up the other hand to do whatever you please and amplify the stimulation on other parts of her body.

More to come, because this topic is extremely involved – Part 2 will delve into more advanced techniques and oral stimulation – stay tuned!

Out,

Jax

About Jax Brady

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