What’s better than a single orgasm? You guessed it, multiple orgasms. Men and women are fundamentally different in terms of our physiologies and how we respond to orgasms – men have a pretty lengthy “refractory period”, otherwise known as the recovery period required after you orgasm. Men tend to need a little while to recover, whereas women can often bounce back pretty quickly. That’s not to say that women don’t have that same hyper-sensitive window, they do – it’s just normally a smaller time frame than guys experience. Anyway, the point stands – don’t think just becauase you’re good with a single orgasm that your partner is the same – if you want to be a stand out lover, help her get to orgasms #2, #3, and more. Here’s how.
1) Mix It Up
Ask your partner how she prefers her stimulation. Don’t forget the importance of communication – this is a pillar of my writing because it’s so crucial to developing comfort and trust between partners. If she’s more likely to orgasm via clitoral stimulation, focus on getting her there via oral and manual stimulation with your fingers. If she’s prefers penetration or G spot stimulation, go there instead. It’s not rocket science, but the idea here is to get your partner to her first orgasm via the route that’s easiest for both of you. The key here is once she’s reached climax, you need to switch it up. Sensitivity is bound to happen, and that’s totally ok – but keep in mind that if you totally stop sexual stimulation for a few minutes while she recovers, it’s going to be really difficult to get her to the 2nd orgasm. Instead of stopping, slow down your stimulation and pick another erogenous zone. For example, if she’s just orgasmed from clitoral stimulation, give her a break and instead kiss her neck or play with her nipples. The heightened sensitivity she’s experiencing will make these other erogenous zones more receptive to touch and will help you bridge the gap until she’s ready for more direct stimulation again. The moral of the story here is to “fan the flame” so to speak and not let the arousal completely subside.
2) Take Your Time
Women tend to take longer to reach orgasm than men, so it’s important that you pace yourself. It’s impossible to “ride” the arousal wave that follows female orgasm if you end up orgasming before her first orgasm, so pace yourself. Don’t rely solely on penetration if you have any concerns about premature ejaculation.
How big is this “arousal gap”? A guy can orgasm in as little as 3 minutes, and a woman can take upwards of 20 minutes. That’s a huge discrepancy, and you’ll need to have a few tricks up your sleeve to fill that gap, which brings me to my next point.
Here’s another recurring theme – take your time and invest in some serious foreplay. Kissing, touching, etc all pay dividends if you spend a good amount of time on them. Building arousal is crucial to getting your partner to orgasm. If you’re afraid of lasting long enough to get her to her first orgasm, you need to focus on moves that stimulate and arouse her without doing much to yourself – aka, you need to be selfless. Take time to master your oral game. A perfect example would be to give your lover her first orgasm through clitoral stimulation via oral sex, and then bridge the gap with light penetration and kissing before transitioning into full on sex, where (hopefully) she’s primed for her next one.
Either way, the point is to slow down and enjoy the build up.
4) Let Her Take Control
I have heard anecdotally from several of my female friends that they are much more likely to hit their second and third orgasms when they’re on top. Like I said in step #1 above, mix it up – just because you made her orgasm in missionary position doesn’t mean that’s the only position you should be working. She knows her body, and if you’ve gotten her to the first orgasm, let her take that momentum and run with it. This might mean you need to put your ego aside for a second and let her do the work, but hey, you’ll get front row seats to the show.
The bottom line is that she knows what feels good, and once she’s already in “the zone” after having her first orgasm, if you let her take the wheel she’s in a better position (literally, heyo!) to climax again.
Consistently giving your partner multiple orgasms is a skill that will set you apart from the vast majority of people out there. Granted, a good deal of this depends on your partner. If she’s not particularly orgasmic, you should focus on getting her to a regular orgasm consistently before expecting to give her multiples. Many women aren’t even aware that they can have multiples, or if they have, they treat it as sort of a freak occurrence. Whenever you’re introducing a woman to a new unchartered part of her sexuality, it might take a few sessions before you get the results you want – that’s fine – and it’s part of the fun. Use the guidelines I’ve laid out here to get her there, but don’t become overly obsessed with the results. That sort of mentality will take away from the experience itself, and that’s all together counter productive.
That’s all for now. As always, hit me up with any questions.